you're a grown ass woman- KNOCK IT OFF!

who the fuck dots their fucking 'i's with a fucking circle?!



yes. we are going to tarintino this story. now that you know the ending of it....

so i started my first class on the ground campus last night (as opposed to online). and being the nieve sam that i am- i went in there thinking that im surrounded by adults. no awkwardness or moronic behaviour... i mean- it was a fucking math class. a math class! what the fuck kind of shinnigans would i face?! .....apparently a lot.....

the instructor decided that due to the school's policy it would be a novel idea to have us divide into groups for the entire term to assist each other.... with math, i guess... and im cool with that. cuz chances are that i would A- really really suck at this and will be in dire need of assistance or B- exchange numbers with each other for formalities sake and feel safe about throwing the number out after class. so we pass around the sheets of paper jotting down out own contact shit (i lucked out. i still have a texas number). then i get a peice of paper handed to me. with all the fucking 'i's in the contact information not as humble little dots. no. this fucker was that LOUD jerk that you've always want to punch in the head. big ass circles to dot the 'i's. it looked like a skrawny little man with a huge fucking cranium. i was afraid that fucker was gonna fall off the page. i quickly looked up at my team mates to figure out which fuck did this. we are a team of two boys and two girls. luckily for me- i had taken a critical thinking course a few months back, so with my power of deductive thinking- i knew it would able to solve the mystery of the duchebage 'i's....

so one by one i eliminated people from my team. it could not have been the guy next to me cuz i saw his handwriting (and he really doesn't seem to be the type to make happy circles). and i know i sure as fuck couldn't have documented something so idiotic... that just leaves the other guy and the other girl... i decided that i would need more assistance on this issue. i skimmed my paper again.... the name with the outlandish 'i's is a Keri. FUCK! how dare they carry a unisex name! fucking fuck fuck!!! wait a minute- ..........boys don't have their names ending with an 'i' unless they're fruity and changed it to look nifty... it had to be the other girl in the group.

really, ma'am? really? are you fucking me, 'Keri'?! seriously?! you're a grown ass woman! KNOCK IT OFF! what the fuck?! you think this is fucking middle school?! where you can just go around making your 'i' aesthically pleasing for everyone?! well guess what? they're not! and you suck! a lot!

....i learned a valuable lesson that night: avoid group projects at any cost, at any age.

the more you know.

why yes, this is a fecal matter.

not sure about everyone else- but i for one get extremely nervious behind a truck that has a porter potty strapped onto it.

like many- my initial thought is that there is probably still much matter within the potty and those harnesses never seem sturdy enough. i don't care if the potty hits my fast approaching vehicle. my greatest conserns in the end (pun) is really being covered in it. and that leaves for a sad sam.

a friend of mine was in the car with me when this happened. we decided that chances are that they must've emptied out the porter potties before loading them up. personally, if i were to be a lazy person (which i can/will be), i would've just loading it on and fucked the cleaning out part. then it was brought to my attention that it's not just mass in there, but volume as well. so we imagined it can get pretty heavy lifting that fucker up when it's full. granted, each one would vary in weight.... i mean, i guess it would depend on which site it was located at and calculate in what types of resturants are near by, if anyone's got the runs, etc....

in the end, we concluded that porter potties are like snowflakes. large plastic blue snowflakes. granted all seem the same... but up close (be sure to mouth breathe)- each one is more different than the last.

extrastupid=genious

on my way to work yet again on a friday morning. and before i start my word tangent, let me begin with a mini tangent....

why the fuck do you people get so god damn excited about it being friday?? or even if it's thursday, you have to get excited that tomorrow is friday. it's not like you've got anything huge planned for the weekend or even if you're really doing anything on friday. for each thursday afternoon or friday morning i have to hear about how wonderful friday is i will have to punch someone in the head for saying it. so unless it's about five minutes until i get off of work for the weekend or if you're stating how remarkable saturday is- don't bother speaking to me about your basterd friday.

so with that off my chest- what the fuck is up with the word 'extraordinary'? here's the thing, it's two words. extra and ordinary. if something is to be ordinary, it's banal or mundane.... boring even. so one would think that is something in EXTRA ordinary it's even more banal or mundane, and as the afore mentioned- extra boring. but it means that it's remarkable and wonderful. seriously with that logic, if i called someone extrastupid it would mean that they are a fucking genious. and trust me- i've actually called people extra stupid and meant nothing close to it. so if you are for the word extraordinary- then contgrats, you must be extrastupid as well.